With less than 24 hours to go now before Monday’s 2022 NHL trade deadline, we’re going to look at 1 item on the wish list of each of the 32 NHL teams.
ANAHEIM DUCKS
Since the Ducks have turned sellers as they’re not likely to be in the mix for the 2022 Stanley Cup Playoffs, their fans are probably just hoping that the LA Kings lose in Round 1.
ARIZONA COYOTES
Here’s hoping that the seats in their new kindergarten-sized arena are at least comfortable. Their 12 loyal fans deserve at least that.
BOSTON BRUINS
This isn’t really going to be Patrice Bergeron’s last season in a Bruins’ uniform, right? RIGHT?!?!
BUFFALO SABRES
We will see a Stanley Cup-level party in Buffalo if Vegas misses the playoffs.
CALGARY FLAMES
The #1 team in the Pacific Division is probably just wishing for TSN/Sportsnet to acknowledge that they even exist, as the not-nearly-as-good Edmonton Oilers continue to suck up all of the oxygen and airtime.
CAROLINA HURRICANES
Can Frederik Andersen win an elimination game for the first time in his career?
CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS
Just burn this franchise to the ground and start from scratch, honestly. There’s no fixing their reputation at this point.
COLORADO AVALANCHE
Nathan MacKinnon is probably wishing anyone other than just him would show up in the playoffs this year. His teammates are probably just wishing Nate MacKinnon would let them eat a slice of bread once every six months.
COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS
Still just patiently waiting for the Washington Capitals to lose a goddamn hockey game.
DALLAS STARS
It would be nice if Jamie Benn would be worth even half of his cap hit.
DETROIT RED WINGS
We just need six Moritz Seiders and 12 Lucas Raymonds and we’ll be set.
EDMONTON OILERS
All we need before the trade deadline is defense, goaltending, a second line, a third line, and a fourth line. Then we’ll really be ready to make some noise.
FLORIDA PANTHERS
Claude Giroux. ✅
LOS ANGELES KINGS
Official petition to have Snoop Dogg do the play-by-play for all of our playoff games.
MINNESOTA WILD
In all seriousness, this is a true hockey town that deserves to see a nice playoff run. I hope they have a good trade deadline.
MONTREAL CANADIENS
A time machine to go back and replace Dominique Ducharme with Marty St. Louis during training camp.
NASHVILLE PREDATORS
Please, God, don’t let Filip Forsberg leave us.
NEW JERSEY DEVILS
Can Marty Brodeur still play?
NEW YORK ISLANDERS
Honestly, at this point we’d settle for losing games 6-5 instead of losing games 1-0… at least we’d have more fun.
NEW YORK RANGERS
A cloning machine for Igor Shesterkin so he can play all six positions.
OTTAWA SENATORS
Hoping for a Pittsburgh Penguins, Washington Capitals, Tampa Bay Lightning-style rebuild, and not the Buffalo Sabres/Vancouver Canucks “no name” brand version of it.
PHILADELPHIA FLYERS
Copies of Adele CDs and boxes of tissue for all of our fans. We are in mourning. Please respect our privacy during this difficult time.
PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
Please don’t give us Playoff Tristan Jarry for the playoffs, please just let us keep Regular Season Tristan Jarry.
SAN JOSE SHARKS
See: Anaheim Ducks. Same wish here.
SEATTLE KRAKEN
Can we have a do-over of our Expansion Draft? Pretty please?
ST. LOUIS BLUES
Hoping Ville Husso can pull a Jordan Binnington 2.0, except this time we’d say “Thanks for the Cup” and skip the huge contract extension for the 1-hit wonder.
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
Just hoping one of their top-paid players will get a hangnail sometime before noon on Monday so they can put them on LTIR until Game 1 of the playoffs and go for the 3-peat with a roster that’s $20 million over the cap.
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
Leafs fans are just hoping to finally have an easy First Round matchup, someone like Montreal or Columbus or… oh wait.
VANCOUVER CANUCKS
It would be nice if the now-decade-long rebuild would take a step forward at some point.
VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS
We used to be hoping to win the Cup, now we’re just hoping to make the playoffs.
WASHINGTON CAPITALS
Has anyone seen the movie ‘Bubble Boy’? The Caps need about a dozen of those bubbles on expedited delivery. Get healthy. Stay healthy.
WINNIPEG JETS
You’ve gotta feel a little bit for Jets fans. They’ve fallen off of a cliff since a run to the Western Conference Final in 2018. I’m sure at this point, they’re just hoping anyone other than the Leafs or Oilers wins the Cup. Luckily for them, there’s almost a 100% chance of that happening.
